The Porn War
You should think about the porn war like any other war as having both defensive and offensive aspects. Defensive warfare is not a winning tactic, but it is a necessary...
I’ve blogged about lust and porn before, but I thought I’d put a few more thoughts down here.
You should think about the porn war like any other war as having both defensive and offensive aspects. Defensive warfare is not a winning tactic, but it is a necessary tactic. And usually, when the Spirit has sacked a man, and he comes to his senses, repents, and wants to get out the prison cell of lust and pornography, the defensive angle has to be emphasized first.
You need to get real accountability (pastor, parent, wife, godly roommate), change jobs, stop traveling so much, throw away your computer, put Covenant Eyes on your smart phone, cut off your hand or eye causing you to sin (Mt. 5:28-30). Jesus prescribes amputation, so don’t expect this to be very fun. This should be done right away while the Spirit is still burning within you.
After about two weeks, the chances of you wanting to do anything drastic fall dramatically. But you should basically imagine your lust as a wild beast. You need to kill the damn thing, and that means you need to be your own worst enemy. Imagine the worst about your self. What are you likely to do in your weakest moment? Then cut that off. Pluck it out. Move out. Quit your job. Throw away your phone. Sounds crazy, but if it doesn’t look crazy, I don’t think you can say you’re actually obeying Jesus.
But the real problem is in your heart, in your mind, in the way you think about women, the way you think about sex and love. So after you slammed all the doors shut, padlocked them, run barbed wire around the tops of the fences, and dumped a bunch of broken glass around every entrance and exit, you need to do some hard thinking and praying about your heart and mind. Here’s a list to get you started:
- God made women in His own image. Women are people. They are human beings. They are beloved daughters of God. He made them. He loves them. He values them. Do you think of women as God’s daughters? Do you recognize that they all belong to Him? They are His? And they are daughters, mothers, sisters, and friends of other people.
They are real people. And this does not cease to be true when they are photographed or filmed. When you see a woman on the cover of a magazine do you remember that God made her? That she has an eternal soul, a story, a family, loves, hopes, dreams? Think about your own mother, sister, or daughter. - God made women, and their beauty is their glory. God created them to be lovely, attractive, glorious. That’s their God-given glory, their God-given duty. They do this in their words, their actions, their appearance, their creativity, the way they adorn places and people and events with grace. Do you resent this? Do you think there’s something wrong about this?
Sometimes men fall into lust because they think there’s a design flaw in the system, that God goofed when He made women lovely. Get over yourself, chump. Open your eyes and give thanks for the beauty of the feminine. Sometimes one of the best ways of killing lust is just accepting the glorious but simple fact that God made women beautiful and then recognizing the fact if you’re really blessed, God will give you one (if He hasn’t already) and all the others aren’t yours. - Lots of guys think like the evolutionists are right. They think they have this animal instinct super charged with hormones that needs to just get muzzled and straight-jacketed until they can be properly unleashed in marriage. But this is false. If you’re thinking like this, you’re preparing to use and abuse your current/future wife. While there is certainly a physical/chemical element to this, men are not actually animals.
Sin drives men to act in beast-like ways (see above), but this is not how you were created to live. To live like an animal is to become less of a man not more of one. The man who goes to a whore shrivels up like a crust of bread (Prov. 6:26). Do you think of your sex drive as a generic force to be held in check? Or do you think of it as a God-given desire to have a wife?
God invented sex to be like a sacrament in marriage, an enactment of the love, commitment, loyalty, transparency, joy, friendship, and fruitfulness found in marriage. That’s what that desire is for. It reminds you that it’s not good to be alone. It should drive you to find that companion, that friend, and to become more human by sharing life together. - Every woman immodestly displayed on magazines, in movies, in internet pixels is being exploited, used, and abused. Pornography is socially accepted gang rape. Playboy pinups, swimsuit calendars, and the like are mistreatment of someone’s daughter, mother, sister. Women were not made to be used for a couple of minutes and then forgotten. Women were not made to be dishonored like that.
I don’t care what her face seems to be saying. I don’t care how much she got paid. I don’t care that she did it “willingly.” It doesn’t matter what sins she committed in the process. Prostitutes get trapped in the system like that. They can’t find other work. They are addicted to drugs and alcohol. They have manipulative pimps. There are spoken and unspoken threats. They have no where else to go. They have been enslaved with lies about themselves and the world.
When you see a picture of a woman stripped of her modesty, you are seeing a woman stripped of her honor, a woman defaced, a woman hated, a woman abused. When you walk by the airport terminal news stands, when you flip through the channels, when you are checking out at the grocery store, what could be arousing about seeing a woman, made in the image of God, strung up for the world to see?
Far from seeing an image of illicit beauty, you are actually witnessing a brutal crime. Yes, God made her body. It is beautiful. But the fact that a bunch of cruel men are making millions off her abuse should make you sick to your stomach, give you deep sympathy for her plight. If you saw a woman being gang raped in a back alley, would you stop and masturbate? Why is it any different when Sports Illustrated does it? - God made men to protect and sacrifice and honor women, children, and all who are weak. God created women to be honored and protected by their men. You were not made to abuse women, to crush them, and join with their oppressors. These porn models are orphans and widows.
They have lost or been abandoned by their fathers, brothers, and husbands. Will you see them as victims of abuse or will you join in with their abusers? God is the God of the orphan and the widow, the Defender of those in distress. He will hear their cries for mercy. He will rise up to their defense, and He will judge the wicked men who did this to them. Whose side are you on? Will you stand up and defend them? Or do you keep going back to the scene of the crime for another quick thrill? - As shown here, many women who end up in the porn industry were victims of the sex trade. They were kidnapped, raped, drugged, and broken down until they gave into their abusers. When you support this industry with your money, time, or pleasure, you are supporting more than just a perverse business venture. You’re supporting a widespread, underground slave operation. But you were made for freedom, and you were made to be a freedom fighter. You were made to be a man.
More could be said, but hopefully this gets you started. It’s not enough just to build a fortress of defense, you need to be transformed by the renewing of your mind. You need to learn to see the world the way God does.