"The modern dating system is bankrupt..."
"...It does not train young people to form a relationship but rather to form a series of relationships, hardening themselves to all but the current one. Recreational dating encourages emotional attachments without covenantal fences and makes a joke of a father's authority. The disrespect children have for their fathers in this area is an echo of the disrespect fathers have for their own office."
The Fourth Book in the Family Series
In this book, Douglas Wilson argues that biblical courtship provides a wonderful freedom. It involves familial wisdom and godly protection. Grounded upon the involved authority of the father, courtship delights in its public connection to the lives of families. Sexual purity is a great inheritance for a newly married couple, and part of a father's job is to guarantee and protect that heritage.
This book is a part of Douglas Wilson's series of books on the family, which has helped many people trying to deal with the everyday messes that come with sinners trying to live under the same roof. This book on courtship does not offer so much a surefire method for good marriages as remind us of the scriptural principles governing romance, marriage, and the family.
"There are three things which are too wonderful for me, Yes, four which I do not understand: The way of an eagle in the air, The way of a serpent on a rock, The way of a ship in the midst of the sea, And the way of a man with a virgin" (Prov. 31:18-19)."
From the Introduction:
"Because our contemporary practice of recreational dating has failed so miserably, many Christians are hungry for alternative methods. 'Just tell us what to do!' In this arena, as elsewhere, the Christian life is approached as though it were a paint-by-numbers kit. But nowhere is this kind of 'connect the dots' thinking better calculated to bring disaster than in the realm of courtship. We are men and women with sons and daughters, not social engineers playing with interchangeable, interconnecting tinker toys. This simplistic but destructive mentality is revealed in questions like, 'How many times must a young man come over before the young girl’s father should allow him to sit next to her at the dinner table?' The author of this small book frankly confesses that the answer is none of his business, and that he doesn’t really care. Seek to understand the principle, and appropriate methods will follow." -From the Introduction
Douglas Wilson is a pastor in Moscow, Idaho, a father of three, and grandfather of seventeen. He is the author of numerous books, including Decluttering Your Marriage, Future Men, and How to Exasperate Your Wife.
AUTHOR: Douglas Wilson
PAGE COUNT: 96 pages
ISBN 10: 1885767269
PUB. DATE: April 1, 1997
Growing up fatherless and in a church that doesn’t center its focus on families. This was helpful to see where authority is rooted in families.
This book is packed full of wisdom, especially for parents raising daughters, and young ladies alike! My husband and I appreciate it all of insight given, things that we learned for the first time and reiterating things we already believe to be true. We are thankful for the work of Doug Wilson in so many aspects of our lives, including parenting these daughters of ours!
As a man, I really liked the vision from Wilson on what taking the initiative looks like in a dating/courting/marriage relationship- it is something I didn’t know how much I wanted until I heard him explain it. The biblical principles on how to interact with a woman I’m interested in and her parents were very good to think about and I’m trying to put them into practice.
Excellent and informative. This is much needed in an age when so many young people and even parents have no idea what “biblical courtship” looks like and why it’s so important. Get a copy, today!
This is a short book, but so full of wisdom. It has deeply impacted me as a Christian father of young daughters. I am so thankful that I found this book now, and not ten years from now!
Her Hand in Marriage: Biblical Courtship in the Modern World
I'll be reading this again. Very good instruction on how to court.
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